Diamonds on the inside.

This idea shifts my mood every time.
The power of mental images to transform us is remarkable -I guess every propagandist understands this, -but I keep forgetting.
When I think of diamond mines -which I've never seen in real life, I imagine a hybrid image of a cartoon diamond mine with the entire contents of Tiffany's emitting light from a dark and small subterranean opening, and the inside of a thunder egg.

Dirty craggy rock on outside -thats me, and myriad, ancient sparkles on the inside.

At the time I was feeling down and disheartened about one of the projects that was closest to my heart, an exhibition I had taken to Paris.

It was a sculpture and textile exhibition that I'd taken to a Paris Child Shrink conference to "show" rather than "tell" my understanding of child trauma.

It had been an audacious project, as I'm not an artist, it was the other side of the world and I'd never shipped on this scale or type before. It was so out of my comfort zone it was exhilarating.
The exhibition was very well received at the time, and sparked lots of ideas and new understandings for me.
But a year on I was feeling down and disheartened, even a bit silly for having had bothered.
I'd written articles, put together catalogs, pinged galleries and people and not really got any purchase, beyond raised eyebrows of interest. No conversions.
"I feel a bit if a ninny" I said,  for boring everyone for the year leading up to, and the year after it, as I buttonholed them against the wall to relay my thoughts and reflections. The whole experience had been expensive, put my family out and used lots of resource of time and attention. I had to create a lot of hype to justify it in my own mind and those around me.
How very dare you...

And so on the 1 year anniversary of the exhibition I confessed to my brother all of this. Obviously he knows me very well, and like any sibling is prepared to be critical when he feels its warranted -in the nicest possible way...
I think he could hear I was feeling lost on something that had been defining. He understood the idea of "work in progress" and that it's not all Hollywood.
"Don't worry" he said, "something will come of it...there are diamonds on the inside."
It was a big friendly slap on the back. All the guilt and shame just dissipated and with that visual image I could sweep myself with  the brilliant sparkle of all those diamonds. My posture changed and a smile of understanding spread over my face.
It was a head flipper, and still is.
What's the kicker? Keep in touch with your internal diamonds, remind your friends of theirs, especially when they're feeling like a ninny.
How we view ourselves is powerful, and influences how we act today, -both ways, so get the diamonds out for today.

And the project? Well it's still there, it's formed the foundation of about 3 exciting new projects including this one. I shipped art, it was hard and I doubted myself after. that's part of the process, but it pushed my thinking forward and then the most exciting thing happened:
New ideas for new projects.
Have a Betta Day!